How to NOT get the girl

Internet drowns in more or less successful stories on how to GET the girl. So what? Does men always want the girl? Proudly presents the art of how to NOT get the girl- the Vesper way:

1. Fall asleep on  a date with your head on the plate

2. Try to pick up your mother in law

3. Take your girl on an uncomfy fishing trip

4. Make her faint and brag about it in public:

5. Feed her chocolate and then tease her when she gets fat

6. Always smoke and dance at the same time (old Vesper Kling trick. All girls HATES that)

7. Flirt with her friends and piss of their husbands

8. If she is a vegetarian, take her to dinner and BBQ a cute Meeroo

These advices are failproof as Vesper himself has tested them all (and some more..). Do you have more tips and tricks please share!