This saturday started in joy but ended in tears. It was a day of mixed feelings. Ups and downs. But I guess life is like that sometimes. I started the day with having a long talk with an old friend from Swedish SL. That was really nice. It was good to talk to her again after she have had more or less a break for a while.
In the evening (my evening) Effinjay (Frogg Marlowe and Jaycatt Nico) had a live performance in Kitely. In fact I think it might have been the first Live perfomance in Kitely(?) Allen Partridge at Virtually Human had arranged it and the sound, music and performance was great. I can really recommend them, in any world :) In the end i think we were more than 20 avatars and thats fairly good for Kitely that time of day I think. Thank you all, I had a wonderful time.
Late this evening ArtWolf, Leanna, Alizarin, Wizzy and Miso helped me to say a last goodbye to Sven Idyll inWorldz. I didnt want to make this last goodbye bigger because It was too hard as it was. I could only have a few close friends around at this moment. ArtWolf held a beautyful speach and i was in tears when she was finished. She told me I had to let go. -But I dont want to, I said. She said i must. I dont know… if i can, but I know I have to.
My dearest friends, I dont know what I would do without you <3
I know my blog postings are a maybee even more boring and uninpired nowadays than before, the sparkle is gone. I hope to find it again if i keep trying…
When a friend passes away it feels like time slows down. And people often show their true colours.
A person I hadn´t talked to for a very long time sent me a im last week. We have had a complicated relation so I was surprised to hear from her. She said she hadnt been that nice to Sven commenting in his blogs, but she was very very sorry this happened. That felt very sincear and I appreciate it a lot Gitt. Especially as our relation wasnt the best. That makes it worth even more <3
On the other hand I saw that an unpleasant person had commented on some blogs (nekrologs) dedicated to my friend where “she” calls him “her” friend. “She” sent him a message some days before he passed away, yes that is true. As soon as “she” saw him in my profile. But “she” forgot to tell you that “she” did it to cross examine him about me, as he told me himself right after.
Though “she” had promised me to never disturb me or my friends again. I have saved that promise but it wasnt worth anything obviously. It is deceitful to lie in a comment in a nekrolog and you will get bad karma from this.
He wasnt “her” friend, never. And I am sure he wouldnt like to be remembered as that. In fact he was trying to help me get rid of this person.
So I got comfort from a person I hadnt counted on and got even more hurt by another person. Small things matters. We need to remember that.
Some weeks ago I had a guessing game with my friends. All these pictures are me or rather my “avie” if that is a difference? Where and when are these pictures taken? Which world and which year? This was no easy task. Take a guess and if you dont make it you can find the answer at the bottom of this post. If you like the idea, make your own collage with old pictures and paste a link in comments here :)
I have had a break from blogging for a while and im not sure how much I will blog in the future. Im in kind of a healing period now so I will take it slow. 1 thing is for sure, I wont share any personal stuff, especially not RL as a person I knew before has abused that information even tho it was only casual information. I only share my RL and my private thoughts with 1 special dear and trusted friend in virtual worlds nowadays. But I may share interesting stuff about virtual worlds with you all when I find it.
The picture shows my past, but what about the future?
The greatest healing therapy is friendship and love ~ H.Humphrey
Pictures
1. Avatar Hangout (Open sim december 2008) 2. Second Life (Chamonix may 2010) 3. Cloud Party 2013 4. Entropia Universe – 2013 5. New World Grid 2009 on 1 of my own 9 regions in may 2009
I rezzed in Second Life 25 oktober 2008 with my first avie Alessia Kranfel and after 1 month about i stood, bored, at a live concert/party (well yes hrmm im not a huge fan of virtual parties sorry to say ;). As i was bored i enjoyed myself with some profile perving. 1 man had a profile with pictures and texts about another world – Avatar Hangout – and open sim world. I was puzzled. There was other worlds than Second Life? Curiosity killed the cat so i threw myself on him and “demanded” he show me this world. That was my way into open sim. And yes… im afraid the hair is illegally copybotted but not by me :}
I got that link from Han Held the other day. Fascinating. In a virtual world u never know who u are talking to as we have voice morph these days. But if you listen carefully u might be able to hear its morphed. I guess there are quality differences between different morph software too. But most ppl have free or very cheap software and are quite easy to unveil. And no, I never use voice morphing myself. I´v tried it once for fun and it felt totally weird.
Still, this is no problem as long as the morphing person dont hurt anyone or start relations under false flag.
“Man is not what he thinks he is, he is what he hides.”
― André Malraux
The reason for men to dress up as female avatars varies. A lot of them do it cos it gives them advantages. It´s often easier for a woman to get help in a game than a man. Some men wants to be women in real life so they are living that dream in a virtual world instead. Nothing wrong with that.
Cyber stalking all the way to real life is sort of a virtual rape – same same but different
But some men (also) do it to prey on women. Women often feel more secure talking to other women and relaxes. Problem is, u might be talking to a man with a female avie or/and voice morph on….. And he might be collecting information about u as you speak to map you in real life. This happens all the time and it has happened to me. In virtual worlds i feel more comfy around women. I like men but im a bit wary and it takes longer time for me to trust a man in a virtual world (or any world as a matter of fact). This time I got stalked all the way into real life.
The stalker explained “this is common in Swedish SL” to dig in your friends Real life. But i dont believe that. Maybee there are 1 or 2 who search for their friends in RL but not “common”. I think most people has a sense for what is right or not so I refuse to believe that. I asked this person to apologize publicly but s/he refuses, saying “Swedish people in SL are hyenas and will feed on this”. I dont agree. I think a person like you mr/ms Stalker, who intrude in peoples private life against their will and against TOS in SL, are hyenas. And I write about this because i want people to know how it feels. It feels kind of like you have had a house breaking in real life. That some random unknown person has poked around in your private belongings. Yes i have had that too so i can compare. This person has monitored me since december 2012 without me knowing it until last week when he/she made a mistake and got caught in a log…..
I have no fun here anymore. Right now this feels it could be my last blogpost because I feel this person has soiled me. Im deeply hurt by this intrusion in my life, and it feels like some kind of “virtual rape” :(
“People ask me why it’s so hard to trust people, and i ask them why is it so hard to keep a promise”
– unknown
And why do women use male avies in virtual worlds? I do it now and then and mostly to protect myself. I feel safer when roaming the grid in a male shape. I seldom get “attacked” by men (not in a romantic fashion anyhoo ;). Well i have had a couple of gay men hitting on me who forgot to read my profile. Yes my profile says im a woman. You can choose to belive it or not. The other reason is to put off my stalker who clearly prefers women avies and not this chainsmoking “good for nothing” – this is probably how you will recognize me from now on, if or when I am online:
As a shapeshifter I have had a couple of “partners” who also shapeshifted but the “relations” was purely fake and roleplay. I carefully explained in the beginning to each person that I was not interested in- or able to have a “normal” relation with them. Take it or leave it. We did it for fun and games and planned funny blogpostings and other public events together. 1 of them could handle the situation, the other not…
How hard can it be to respect other peoples wish for privacy? Dont ever poke around in their life without their concent or you will become a cockroach in your next life :(
“It’s not so much the journey that’s important; as is the way that we treat those we encounter and those around us, along the way”
– Jeremy Aldana
So i repeat: Cyber stalking all the way to real life is sort of a virtual rape – same same but different
Stalking is a continuous process, consisting of a series of actions, each of which may be entirely legal in itself. Technology ethics professor Lambèr Royakkers writes that:
“Stalking is a form of mental assault, in which the perpetrator repeatedly, unwantedly, and disruptively breaks into the life-world of the victim, with whom he has no relationship (or no longer has), with motives that are directly or indirectly traceable to the affective sphere. Moreover, the separated acts that make up the intrusion cannot by themselves cause the mental abuse, but do taken together (cumulative effect).”
And the stalkers PROFILE:
“Mental profiling of digital criminals has identified factors that motivate stalkers as: envy; pathological obsession (professional or sexual); unemployment or failure with own job or life; intention to intimidate and cause others to feel inferior; the stalker is delusional and believes he/she “knows” the target; the stalker wants to instill fear in a person to justify his/her status; belief they can get away with it (anonymity); intimidation for financial advantage or business competition; revenge over perceived or imagined rejection”
“Cyberstalking is a criminal offense that comes into play under state anti-stalking laws, slander laws, and harassment laws. A cyberstalking conviction can result in a restraining order, probation, or even criminal penalties against the assailant, including jail.”
Dont hesitate to report cyber stalking to the police as it is a crime. It is proven that cyber stalking is often followed by worse crimes irl….
The Eternal Sunshine of the Metaverse 